Karaoke Lexicon (a.k.a. Varaoke)
(tho' not too often) the IQ of a committee actually exceeds the standard
formula: take the IQ of the most intelligent person in the group
and divide by the total number of people to get the IQ of the committee
as a whole.
is one such example of the exception to the rule. Dog & Pony want
to thank all of our friends and fellow SoundChoice
Board Members for pitching in to create this fun lil' lexicon
of karaoke terms.
- When someone sings into the mic but you still can't hear them.
- Singing au naturel (in the buff) see: stripperoke
- When the music is WAY TOO LOUD!
- Any show that lasts until daylight.
- Singing withdrawals suffered the weekend before you
- Any song that has been done to death
- description of a particularily bad singer
- A person who sits to sing
- A first time karaoke singer
- A "friend" picks a song that you have never tried
- Randomly pulling a song title out of your ass and trying to
- When a new song turns out to be OK and you'll try it again.
- A venue that charges you to sing or makes you pay a cover
Karaoke for the elderly
- Unable to read the monitor because there is a spotlight in
- Equating the fear of singing with suicide.
- Gospel music at a bar.
- When dancers on the floor block your view of the monitor.
(2)- When the singer has had waaaaay too much to drink
- A nervous condition that occurs before trying out a new song.
- Having to cut a verse short due to saliva going down the wrong
- What every guy prays for after any given night of singing.
- A singer who takes forever to get to the stage
- A KJ who uses the fog machine way too much, making it impossible
- When a singer does an Elvis song with leg kicks, arm
- The song that makes you run for the bathroom or a smoke break.
- A town that doesn't have a karaoke venue.
- You set up the show and no one will sing.
- When the next person you call up has left without telling
- Too many country songs in a row.
- When you laughed at a singer and he waited out back to kick
- Attempting a song for the first time and you're pretty sure
it's gonna suck.
- The uncontrollable urge to improvise during musical breaks.
- When you and some friends "tag-team" through a song.
- Wandering around with a cordless mic to get others to sing
- When the KJ is forced to sing 'cause there are no sign-ups.
Events that make you wish you had stayed at home.
Getting as many singers up as possible in the last hour of the
- the uncontrollable urge to strip while singing
Someone who changes the lyrics in order to cuss for the hell
Any song sung deliberately to offend.
Walking into an all Japanese sing along.
A person who always complains after losing a contest.
Getting up to sing in a group song but no way will you get near
The third time you hear the same songin a single night
- Frantic search for a singing fix when a karaoke junkie visits
a new town.
Special Thanks to Tony, one of the co-founders of the yahoo club
karaoke universe who has compiled this:
Someone who always has to play an instrument (i.e. harmonica), bang
on the table or clap along during ones song.
Someone who goes to karaoke and drinks only water to avoid spending
Can easily be identified, as they are usually the biggest
complainers about the rotation.
The one guy who always claps out of rhythm with the rest of the crowd,
just to annoy others.
When the music fades out, but words are still left on the screen to
Hearing the same some twice in one night.
A KJ that runs back and forth, adjusting the sound every minute as
if they were running the Boston Marathon.
Someone who knows nothing about audio, but always tries to tell the
KJ how to run the sound.
When someone actually thinks cupping their hand over their ear makes
them sound better.
When someone sings into the microphone and you still cant hear
A song, whenever performed, no matter how well performed, induces
a customer, or customers to head to the bathroom, outside, or anywhere
else away from the karaoke singing space.
When its obvious that the music is TOO DAMN LOUD!!!
Any show that lasts until daylight.
The irresistible urge to bang ones head in the instrumental
break of Bohemian Rhapsody.
A disorder, which compels otherwise conservative individuals to stampede
blindly to the dance floor when someone sings Play that funky
Someone who wraps their hand around the mic, thinking it looks cool,
completely unaware that it makes their voice sound like theyre
Any person who has to sit down while they sing so that they can effectively
hide behind the monitor.
When you are the only one clapping.
Accidentally clapping for the dance music. This is usually paired
with the aforementioned CLAPPUS ALONUS and usually followed by CLAPPUS
Clapping, then suddenly stopping because the song isnt over.
Applause that only happens because the audience is glad the song is
A disc, that always skips during a performance.
Similar to SCARYOKE, but it was your friend that picked the song.
Any ballad sung in hopes of gaining female companionship for the evening.
Someone who continues to sing even when the song is over, and refuses
to stop until the KJ or the next singer grabs the mic from them.
A singer who always misses the first part of the song, and the host
has to start it over.
A request slip with someones name on it who has not volunteered
Cruising past a show trying to estimate how big the rotation is without
making the commitment of walking in.
A venue that charges you to sing and /or makes you pay a cover charge
to get in.
A person performing on a karaoke stage claiming to be on stage for
the first time, but has sung in front of audiences before.
The act of complimenting a singers not so good performance.
Any song that causes a large group of people to head for the nearest
The fear of catching something from the last singer by
using the same microphone
resulting in the singer trying any
of a dozen sneaky ways to wipe off the mic.
A person who puts in a song, promptly disappears until they are called,
then mysteriously re-appears.
Unable to read the monitor because the KJ positioned a spotlight right
in your face.
When an overly pious individual approaches you to pray for your soul
after you have sung and offensive song.
Sorry, only 80s metal singers allowed.
Equating the fear of karaoke with suicide.
HIT AND RUN
Someone who hangs around just long enough to sing, then vaporizes
without a word.
The annoying, plastic comments intended to gain favor from a host
recognizable because of the repeated use of the word Really).
When a singer performs a song he or she has never performed before
(see suicide), and knows from the very start that the performance
will be quite bad.
The time where people who dont normally go to certain karaoke
show will go, IF THERES A CONTEST.
Singing for a dead crowd.
A singer whose voice is in complete conflict with their looks
shes dressed like Patsy Cline, and next thing you know she breaks
out with the Guns N Roses).
When dancers on the floor or other singers block you view of the TV
A non-singer who represents their friend to the host
tries to get the KJ to move them up because they are so much
better a singer than all the rest of these guys.
The discouraged practice of letting a singer know that despite what
the host said, the singer actually stank to high hell!
When you try a song youve never done before, and blow it badly.
Someone who sings a duet with one person and leaves the bar with another.
The act of flicking cigarette lighters or matches in order to pay
homage to a particular song.
Unreadable scribbling on a song request slip.
Those so called standards which are so far out that no
one in their right mind ever does them.
A singer, usually of the female persuasion that gets way too friendly
with the KJ, not caring if they are attached, or if their significant
other is in the bar at the time.
The different ways to pronounce the word Karaoke based
on what region a person is from.
Someone whos been cut out of rotation for one reason or another.
The unidentifiable substance between the pages in a songbook which
causes them to stick together.
Being able to sing male and female parts of certain songs.
What pall bearers do at a funeral in Oklahoma.
A singer turns in a song, then 5 minutes later comes up and asks the
KJ what they put in.
A condition which makes a singer go up every 3 minutes to ask when
Someone who tries to sing along to s skipping disc.
When someone is so scared of karaoke, that they push the book away
from them as if it were and odious thing will metaphysically transport
them on stage if they open it.
That annoying kid who shows up every week and bellows into the mic
while adoring parent(s) look on as the rest of the place holds their
The loner who never talks to anyone, never sits with anyone and is
always a grouch.
The girl who sings gawdawful, but is so darn cute all the guys dont
care and cheer her on.
Any song that makes you want to KARABOO.
A microphone cord which refuses to straighten out, no matter which
way you try to unwind it.
A KJ who abuses the fog machine, making it impossible to breath or
see your mic.
Those people who cannot resist telling you all about the latest trails
and tribulations in their lives.
The art of pulling a song out of you a** when you least expect it.
A singer who did Mariah Carey at the show the night before, and is
now limited to Joe Cocker and Kim Carnes tunes.
Someone who turns in a blank request slip just to get into rotation.
Any alcoholic beverage that facilitates a singer coming up on stage.
A dreaded disease contracted by karaoke software manufactures who
get the lyrics ridiculously wrong.
Singers who breathe their way through a power song.
The type of singer that sings while simultaneously holding a drink
and a cigarette in their free hand.
A mic of such low quality that, instead of clapping, the audience
asks a singer if they could have some fries with that.
A singer that goes up with another person, then wont take the
microphone, and just stands there and mouths the words the whole time.
An independently wealthy singer who has no other job besides owning
a car lot.
MONDEGREEN (AN ACTUAL TERM)
Printed lyrics on CDGs that sound similar to, but are in fact
not the real lyrics of a given song.
You set up the show and no one will sing.
The mysterious quality of cigarette smoke to waft towards the singers
at the table, regardless of position.
NOM DE MIC
A fake name someone uses to cheat their way to the top of the rotation.
When the nest person you call up has left without telling you.
A person who was ditched by their friends and inevitably
ends up asking the KJ for a ride home.
A singer who constantly screams into the microphone. Everything they
sing sounds like its being performed by Megadeth
When you just go out to sing, get drunk, fall down and get up and
sing some more.
That unidentified moist substance that breeds in microphone covers.
Changing the key of a song so radically that the background singers
sound like theyre either on Quaaludes or helium.
Taking the wireless mic into the bathroom in order to avoid tap
Too many country songs in a row.
Clapping before the song is actually over.
When a singer sings so quietly that a KJ has to turn the mic up to
the point of feedback.
Someone who always has to point out the typos in the songbook.
A singer who tries to act like a KJ, but is completely devoid of people
QUICK CHANGE ARTIST
Someone who changes their song more than 3 times a night
right before they sing.
Singing a Sound Choice Eagles song.
Someone who changes their mind and scratches out their song so many
times, that eventually they are forced to use the back of the request
Someone who pipes up with a cliché like Is this thing
on? Thinking its funny
.completely unaware that hundreds
of other people have already said it that night.
The order in which customers of karaoke establishments will sing.
Usually determined by the order in which customers make requests to
sing and altered by additions of customers arriving later at the establishment
than others. If used correctly and ethically time on stage will be
allocated fairly to all people who wish to sing.
Happens when you see the same person singing 12 duets in one rotation
and there are only 13 singers!
Singing behind the scene to make your friend sound much better than
Attempting a song for the first time and youre pretty sure its
When you and some of your friends tag-team through a song,
or you wander around with a cordless mic and get others to sing with
Condition caused by too many slow songs in one rotation.
When the KJ is forced to sing back to back because there are no sign
The most common excuse for a host to sing in a 50 person rotations,
even though the person requesting the song will never be identified.
STANLEY AND LIVINGSTONED
The extremely drunk singer who always wanders off right before their
turn, and their friends who is sent to go find them.
The local drunks awkward first encounter with singing and attempting
to follow the words on the screen.
When a singer performs a song he or she has never performed before.
Someone who changes the songs lyrics in order to cuss just for the
hell of it.
Any song sung deliberately to offend.
Someone who didnt make it to the bathroom before their song
THE DARK SIDE OF KARAOKE
People who take karaoke TOO SERIOUSLY and cleave to it to fill deep
emotional voids. If it werent for karaoke, theyd be on
the rooftop with an AK-47. Dark-Siders can be easily be
identified by dropping by a location 3 hours before the show starts,
theyll be sitting there waiting.
THE EEBIE FREEBIES
That unnerving and irritating feeling a bartender gets when a water
drinker sits down at the bar.
THE NUTCRACKER SWEAT
The terror experienced by a male singer before singing any Peter Cetera
Someone who calls themselves the QUEEN or KING
of karaoke, but usually sings like Roseanne Barr.
Refers to anyone trying to sing while stoned or on a hallucinogen.
Someone who always has to help others fill out their request slips
and find songs.
Any idiot who sings with a communicable illness.
Songs that are so high that only dogs can hear them (anything by Mariah
The person who complains after losing a contest.
VIBRATO NON GRATA
Trilling your voice inappropriately on every note of a
song, to the point that you sound like youre singing in an earthquake.
A person performing on a karaoke stage for the first time ever in
People who insist on trying to help break down equipment, over the
objections of the host.
You get up to sing in a group song but no way, no how will you get
near the mic.
The third time you hear Goodbye Earl in a single night
(feel free to insert your favorite song here).
The frantic search for a singing fix when a karaoke junkie visits
a new town.